Gave up on the wheels for a while, too time consuming.
Decided to do more important things, like working out why this crap heap is leaking this much oil now:

That's after parking for 4 hours.
There is oil all over the front of the block from what I can see. Decided to pop the valve cover off and take a look down the front. Cam seals look ok, only a very fine mist of oil. It's obviously coming from down lower, oil pump or crank seal. Thankfully the timing belt is mostly clean, only a very very slight bit of oil on the edges.
I want to leave it and not fix it as I can't be arsed, but when it's leaking this much oil as it is now, I guess something needs to be done. Looks like I'll be removing everything off the front of this motor soon enough. I'm going to dump a bottle of stop leak in it and see if it makes any difference at all.
As I was putting the valve cover back on, and doing the right thing and torquing the bolts up correctly at the very low torque spec that is specified, one of them snapped right off. Of course it's the one right in the center of the cover, in the middle of the spark plugs. F*ck that, it's staying as is.
Have I mentioned how much I hate cars?